I dreampt about my ex last night; although he wasn't a huge role in my dream he was there and it is stuck in my head.  It left me feeling the way I felt when he gave his lame reason to not date me anymore and left me feeling the way I did when he came back in my life and then disappeared again.

I was out house shopping with my mother and for some reason I could afford a small single family home.  When we arrived it was like any other house (although it didn't have a for sale sign in the lawn); as we walked in I admired the small but open space.

When we went upstairs we went into one of the bedrooms (I don't remember if it was the master or not but if I had to guess on the size it was not.  It was cluttered and messy and filled with things that had looked familiar to me.  Somehow something triggered that it was my exes room and I instantly started to panic.  I couldn't let my mom and the woman showing us the house (who was really oblivious of my half-asses hiding of my panic) know what state I was in.

She continued to show us the house.  We arrive back down in the living room in the front of the house by the front door and I see my exes car drive up and park.  Two guys get out and walk into the house ignoring us completely.  I think then my heart sank a little.  We continued to talk as my Realtor (still completely oblivious) as more people started to file on in.

Two policemen showed up and asked us what was going on and we said that it was an open house (for some reason) and the cops left.  Apparently that was good enough for them.

Then my ex showed up in the family room downstairs where I was looking at some of the books on a shelf and noticed two of the yearbooks that were for my high school.  He didn't go to my high school.

When we were finally getting ready to leave I turned to find my ex looking at me (not with hateful eyes but almost blank.  I looked at him with arms semi-open and asked "Still not talking to me?"  He answered with a simple "yes" and pulled me into him and hugged me.

I left feeling confused.

The dream went on, I got pulled over twice by two cops (one for speeding before the 'open house' and one later for not staying on my side of the road on a turn I know everyone drives on the yellow line).  I also hid inside a closet at a friends house and ran through the woods at night.

I know I feel like I've dropped off the face of the Xanga community but I am alive and well as my latest pulse will attest to.  I've been keeping myself busy and haven't had much to blog about that I felt is 'blog worthy'.

I am trying to spend some more time with my mother so we are going to the local book store chain to grab a couple books.  I saw a book I wanted to buy that seemed like it would be entertaining even though it's about weightloss.  (Which I also need to get the ball rolling on that.)

It's starting to get cool at night to the point where the open window gives a crisp breeze and my electric blanket goes on.  Yes, call me weird.  The leaves are also starting to turn; I'd love to make it to the arboretum before the leaves all fall off to get some nice pictures.  Maybe my boyfriend would care to come with.  Going back in the winter to get pictures would also be nice, especially after a nice snow.

Speaking of my boyfriend and I, we are nearing our one year mark and I am completely content with where I am and don't remember ever being this happy all the time.  It is a very good feeling.

It is also official (in my head), next spring/summer I am looking at houses and moving out.  By then I should have enough money saved up for a nice down payment that will get my mortgage low enough that I will be able to afford the bills.  I am very excited.

A friend of mine comes home from the Army on the 29th of this month.  I took the next day off of work because he gets in late on Monday night and their is going to be a bit of partying going on.  It will be interesting, my friends and I haven't seen him in a year.  I can't wait!

I'm finding it a lot easier to get back into the groove of my normal work schedule (9-5:30) than others in my department.  Although when the time comes where they are allowing people to leave (without pay) for the rest of the day, I am one of the first group out (usually), I am not complaining about their being hardly anything to do the rest of the time up to leaving (whether it be early or not).  I am finding comfort in my headset now to block out the bitching of my co-workers.  I'd like a new job but know it will always involve the same type of people so I haven't looked.

The weather here has been unseasonably cool.  I've already thrown another blanket on my bed and shut my window to keep the cold out but it always seems to sneak through some invisible crack.

My boyfriend and I are doing fabulous, more so lately than I can remember at all.  I do not know if it's the friends and coworkers I know that are getting married, or have gotten married recently but I'm starting to long for planning a wedding of my own.  I won't push the issue on my boyfriend, we've only been together almost a year (although we've known each other for going on 8 years and have dated off and on for 5 of them).  *sigh*  It's sad I've woken up in the morning after having dreams about getting married, and they've been so vivid!

Well time to get going to work!